I looked at the calendar today and realized that tomorrow is the anniversary of when I moved from NJ. It has been in the back of my head for the last several weeks but now it is staring me in the face. A year. It seems like yesterday when I pulled away from the apartment with a very drugged up dog as my front seat passenger. The enormity of the situation didn't hit me until I was somewhere in Wyoming or Montana. I still don't think it has really set in or maybe it has and that is why the last month has been especially difficult.
It hasn't been an easy year. Honestly, it has been one of the most difficult times of my life. Up and down, up and down.
I used to work for a professor who used to spend every May 1st at a Chicago bar as he toasted the workers of the world. It was his personal holiday. I joined him one year and thought his choice of a bar was a little off. We celebrated at an up and coming microbrewery located in a changing industrial section of Chicago. I thought it would be more appropriate if we found a bar filled with more workers and not just a bunch of young people who were into good beer.
I don't think I want to celebrate this May 1st. I don't want to sit and reminisce about Union City with Elston. No drinking or special meal. No gifts. I just want to pretend that none of this happened. I guess I could toast survival but that doesn't seem right. I could toast some new start in my life but that doesn't seem entirely accurate or some cause of celebration. I'll probably mope and just watch more episodes of The Wire.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
So far behind
I am back from my trip to Alabama and am trying to catch up on things. I'm more worried about catching up in personal emails, things around the apartment than I am with actual worklife. It doesn't help when I crawl into bed at 6 p.m. I think my presentation was well received.
I had an interesting experience on my flight from Atlanta to Birmingham. After we boarded the plane, the pilot made an announcement over the p.a. that we were carrying special cargo. A unit from Iraq was bringing one of their fellow soldiers home for a burial. He asked all of us to stay seated when we landed in Birmingham so the soldiers could show their respect. The pilot apologized for sounding so choked up.
When we arrived in Birmingham and taxied to the gate, I could see a hearse and several Alabama state troopers lined up. When the soldiers stood up in first class, I half expected some idiots in coach to get up and prepare to exit. Nope. Everyone stayed seated. The soldiers left the plane along with the pilots. Several airport workers unloaded the casket from its box and the soldiers went through their routine of placing the American flag on the casket. Everyone on the plane was still silent. People were either watching out the window or craning their necks to catch a glimpse of what was happening. As the soldiers carried the casket to the hearse, I saw men on the plane take their hats off. Several of the men near me were crying. As they gave their final salute, the Alabama troopers joined in. The soldiers did a march around the hearse and walked off the airfield. Everyone remained silent as we gathered our luggage and walked off the plane.
Later, I was talking to one of the fellow passengers who was attending the same meeting. We talked about how we take so much for granted and how this was such a reminder of everything at stake in our society and upcoming election. It was the same day as the Pennsylvania election but I'll save you from my rant on that particular issue. As we talked later that night, we mentioned how we felt uncomfortable watching such a personal ceremony take place, yet we felt honored to silently honor this soldier. I dealt with a fair amount of anger at our government for even putting this soldier in harms way. Ironically, one of my favorite bloggers happened to mention this Esquire article on the same day as my flight. I highly recommend reading it.
I had an interesting experience on my flight from Atlanta to Birmingham. After we boarded the plane, the pilot made an announcement over the p.a. that we were carrying special cargo. A unit from Iraq was bringing one of their fellow soldiers home for a burial. He asked all of us to stay seated when we landed in Birmingham so the soldiers could show their respect. The pilot apologized for sounding so choked up.
When we arrived in Birmingham and taxied to the gate, I could see a hearse and several Alabama state troopers lined up. When the soldiers stood up in first class, I half expected some idiots in coach to get up and prepare to exit. Nope. Everyone stayed seated. The soldiers left the plane along with the pilots. Several airport workers unloaded the casket from its box and the soldiers went through their routine of placing the American flag on the casket. Everyone on the plane was still silent. People were either watching out the window or craning their necks to catch a glimpse of what was happening. As the soldiers carried the casket to the hearse, I saw men on the plane take their hats off. Several of the men near me were crying. As they gave their final salute, the Alabama troopers joined in. The soldiers did a march around the hearse and walked off the airfield. Everyone remained silent as we gathered our luggage and walked off the plane.
Later, I was talking to one of the fellow passengers who was attending the same meeting. We talked about how we take so much for granted and how this was such a reminder of everything at stake in our society and upcoming election. It was the same day as the Pennsylvania election but I'll save you from my rant on that particular issue. As we talked later that night, we mentioned how we felt uncomfortable watching such a personal ceremony take place, yet we felt honored to silently honor this soldier. I dealt with a fair amount of anger at our government for even putting this soldier in harms way. Ironically, one of my favorite bloggers happened to mention this Esquire article on the same day as my flight. I highly recommend reading it.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Just can't give it up
Why does Elston get all of the attention? I am sure that on some upcoming walk, a group of people will rush out of some bushes - hand her a bouquet of flowers, a basket full of greenies, sticks, carrots and fries and then place a tiara on her head. She had four people stop us today so they can coo all over her. With one person, she actually rolled onto her back.
Why doesn't her mojo rub off on me? Oh yeah. It is because Death decided to set down some tea, put on a coat and take a dog for a walk.
This photo and caption crack me up. Don't worry. It is completely unrelated to the rest of this post.
Why doesn't her mojo rub off on me? Oh yeah. It is because Death decided to set down some tea, put on a coat and take a dog for a walk.
This photo and caption crack me up. Don't worry. It is completely unrelated to the rest of this post.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Grocery store 4/18
I've commented before on the friendliness in the grocery stores and how the clerks strike up a conversation about my purchases. This afternoon, I had to run out to the grocery store because I was out of caffeine. Shudder.
The clerk commented on how I was buying a lot of trial sizes of toothpaste and so on. "Are you traveling sometime soon?"
In my head: I don't like to bathe much or regular sizes of things freak me out or they are for the teeny people that live in the corners of my apartment.
Real me: I am going somewhere next week
Clerk: Where? For work?
In my head: I am going to go wander the streets looking for the PopeMobile even though he isn't anywhere on this coast. What business is it of yours?
Real me: Birmingham for work.
Clerk: Good thing otherwise I would wonder if you thought bathing was overrated.
In my head: What the *&*&*
If she had said anything about my crinkle-cut french fries, I was going to have to throttle her. No, the fries aren't for Elston. I bought her carrots.
She also commented on my cloth bag that is from a winery. Great, now I have to think about the bags I bring.
Am I wrong that the clerk was intrusive? I don't mind friendly but I feel self-conscious shopping there. I hate to be judged. I guess I can always leave and share with you the monotony of my life.
The clerk commented on how I was buying a lot of trial sizes of toothpaste and so on. "Are you traveling sometime soon?"
In my head: I don't like to bathe much or regular sizes of things freak me out or they are for the teeny people that live in the corners of my apartment.
Real me: I am going somewhere next week
Clerk: Where? For work?
In my head: I am going to go wander the streets looking for the PopeMobile even though he isn't anywhere on this coast. What business is it of yours?
Real me: Birmingham for work.
Clerk: Good thing otherwise I would wonder if you thought bathing was overrated.
In my head: What the *&*&*
If she had said anything about my crinkle-cut french fries, I was going to have to throttle her. No, the fries aren't for Elston. I bought her carrots.
She also commented on my cloth bag that is from a winery. Great, now I have to think about the bags I bring.
Am I wrong that the clerk was intrusive? I don't mind friendly but I feel self-conscious shopping there. I hate to be judged. I guess I can always leave and share with you the monotony of my life.
Important questions about dogs
1. I tend to leave some clothes (t-shirts that I sleep in) on the bed because Elston likes to nestle up and sleep on them. I guess she wants to be close to my scent. If that is the case, why does she stay in the bedroom and not hang out with me in the living room when I am actually home? Is it my scent but not my presence? Does she just need her alone time? Granted, she is at my feet right now but I know that she will end up going to the bedroom sometime in the next 30 minutes for some quality time with either my Kansas or Peter, Bjorn and John t-shirts.
2. What does it mean that George Bush served hot dogs to John McCain when he came to the White House for his endorsement? Don't get me wrong. I like hot dogs. I guess I would just expect something a little fancier than a hot dog if I was meeting with the president. I would even think a sandwich would be a step up. Do you think McCain was offended? What would you want for lunch if you met with the president at the White House? I think I would want a really nice soup with a risotto dish or maybe a salad and a small piece of fish or steak.
3. Why does Elston hate freedom? She is really into french fries.
2. What does it mean that George Bush served hot dogs to John McCain when he came to the White House for his endorsement? Don't get me wrong. I like hot dogs. I guess I would just expect something a little fancier than a hot dog if I was meeting with the president. I would even think a sandwich would be a step up. Do you think McCain was offended? What would you want for lunch if you met with the president at the White House? I think I would want a really nice soup with a risotto dish or maybe a salad and a small piece of fish or steak.
3. Why does Elston hate freedom? She is really into french fries.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Corruption
It is so hard not to be so cynical about corruption in politics. As a former Illinois resident, it was never a surprise when the newspaper would release details about a politician under investigation. Even the great will fall as in Rostenkowski. We had at least two former governors end up in jail - Walker and Ryan. The latter took the prize with his drivers license for dollars scam as secretary of state. A lot of people shrugged it off at the time as just typical government. The current governor, Blagojevich, is under investigation. Mayor Daley has had so many people in his administration arrested and jailed that it still shocks me that he hasn't been indicted. We can't forget the entertainment for many years in the Chicago area - Betty Loren-Maltese- former mayor of Cicero. The best Halloween costume I have ever seen in Chicago was someone dressed in drag as Betty.
I do think New Jersey trumps Illinois for corrupt politicians. Sharpe James was found guilty today. James, the former mayor of Newark and State Senator, was busted for the usual 13 counts. This guy had sleaze written all over him. Just watch the documentary, Street Fight, to see how he handled one of his last mayoral campaigns. I was just waiting for my former mayor to be indicted for something. As I moved away from NJ, Stack was being investigated for guess what? Yep, corruption because of some questionable grants. One of the beautiful things that I still receive in the mail are the infamous Stack mailings (readers of my former blog will know what I am talking about). There was a great one earlier this week where he attacks people who are saying he accepted questionable donations in a 2005 campaign. Uh huh. Who isn't dirty in NJ politics? The Hoboken mayor practically crawls with dirty money.
It just isn't the same in Oregon. I kinda miss the fun.
I do think New Jersey trumps Illinois for corrupt politicians. Sharpe James was found guilty today. James, the former mayor of Newark and State Senator, was busted for the usual 13 counts. This guy had sleaze written all over him. Just watch the documentary, Street Fight, to see how he handled one of his last mayoral campaigns. I was just waiting for my former mayor to be indicted for something. As I moved away from NJ, Stack was being investigated for guess what? Yep, corruption because of some questionable grants. One of the beautiful things that I still receive in the mail are the infamous Stack mailings (readers of my former blog will know what I am talking about). There was a great one earlier this week where he attacks people who are saying he accepted questionable donations in a 2005 campaign. Uh huh. Who isn't dirty in NJ politics? The Hoboken mayor practically crawls with dirty money.
It just isn't the same in Oregon. I kinda miss the fun.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Couple of other things
While the photos of the drive back from Seattle point to hilarity and weird behavior, we also talked about our last year. I've been thinking about it some more since I came home.
1. This year has brought tremendous change. A year ago, I was finishing up my last job and planning on a move that was less than two weeks away. I can't really remember how I got through that last stretch of NJ days other than it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. In the last year, both BP and I moved across country, started new jobs and dealt with other challenges. We are probably the only two people who can really understand how that has affected us.
2. We both like our new jobs. There are things I love and hate about my new job. The difference is that I am no longer passionate about either the like and/or the dislike. I wasn't sure how I would react to a job at a much smaller institution or a different type of position. As I said from day one, working at a smaller place has been great. I can do different things and expand my skills. I do not miss my old job for one second. I miss the people but I don't miss the insanity.
3. We both love Portland. I've loved many places I've lived but Portland is close to the top. Chicago will always be home but I am starting to feel more connected to the Pacific Northwest. Last year, I had a choice between Chicago and Portland and I am glad I chose Portland. The city has a great vibe, I've made some great friends and nurtured older friendships, and I can have good food/beer at anytime. I do miss the diversity of NJ or Chicago.
4. Friendships. I've known BP for 7 years. I've known B&A for 16 years (ok that just freaked me out a bit). I've had other friends for less than a year. What I love about all of this is that we go through ups and downs but everyone understands those downs. We don't judge. We are all low maintenance. I recently reconnected with some old college friends and it almost feels like yesterday. I love the ability to pick up where we left off even though our lives have become so drastically different. It all boils down to those connections we made in the first place and it transcends time or lifestyles.
5. Laughter is the best medicine. I laughed so hard today that I cried. I haven't done that in a long time. It is kinda like the subtitle of the blog about having my soul back. I don't but I am getting closer. Letting loose and sharing the same quirky sense of humor with a good friend is one more step to getting back on the right path.
1. This year has brought tremendous change. A year ago, I was finishing up my last job and planning on a move that was less than two weeks away. I can't really remember how I got through that last stretch of NJ days other than it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. In the last year, both BP and I moved across country, started new jobs and dealt with other challenges. We are probably the only two people who can really understand how that has affected us.
2. We both like our new jobs. There are things I love and hate about my new job. The difference is that I am no longer passionate about either the like and/or the dislike. I wasn't sure how I would react to a job at a much smaller institution or a different type of position. As I said from day one, working at a smaller place has been great. I can do different things and expand my skills. I do not miss my old job for one second. I miss the people but I don't miss the insanity.
3. We both love Portland. I've loved many places I've lived but Portland is close to the top. Chicago will always be home but I am starting to feel more connected to the Pacific Northwest. Last year, I had a choice between Chicago and Portland and I am glad I chose Portland. The city has a great vibe, I've made some great friends and nurtured older friendships, and I can have good food/beer at anytime. I do miss the diversity of NJ or Chicago.
4. Friendships. I've known BP for 7 years. I've known B&A for 16 years (ok that just freaked me out a bit). I've had other friends for less than a year. What I love about all of this is that we go through ups and downs but everyone understands those downs. We don't judge. We are all low maintenance. I recently reconnected with some old college friends and it almost feels like yesterday. I love the ability to pick up where we left off even though our lives have become so drastically different. It all boils down to those connections we made in the first place and it transcends time or lifestyles.
5. Laughter is the best medicine. I laughed so hard today that I cried. I haven't done that in a long time. It is kinda like the subtitle of the blog about having my soul back. I don't but I am getting closer. Letting loose and sharing the same quirky sense of humor with a good friend is one more step to getting back on the right path.
Go Mariners
Had a great weekend celebrating a friend's birthday (BP). A group of people went out Friday to a few bars. I went up to the DJ at the first place and complimented him on his taste. He was playing Bjork and Stone Roses. What else could I do?
We went to Seattle on Saturday to see a Mariners game. Even though it was a billion degrees out and our seats were in the center of the sun for the first hour, we had fun. BP scored the best seats that I've ever had for a game. I love Safeco field. How many ballparks can you go to and get sushi or ramen? We stuck with the largest nacho helping on earth. Mariners won! We went back to our hotel after a beer at a local microbrew (can't remember the name - BP - help?).
Up early for a visit to Archie McPhee, the mecca for fun stuff, and a terrific breakfast. I'll save you from the 5th grade food review. We go out to breakfast at least once a week but this one was tops.
We had fun on our ride home with some of the Archie purchases. Lenin takes a ride down I-5 with animals. More photos from the Picasa link on the right.
We went to Seattle on Saturday to see a Mariners game. Even though it was a billion degrees out and our seats were in the center of the sun for the first hour, we had fun. BP scored the best seats that I've ever had for a game. I love Safeco field. How many ballparks can you go to and get sushi or ramen? We stuck with the largest nacho helping on earth. Mariners won! We went back to our hotel after a beer at a local microbrew (can't remember the name - BP - help?).
Up early for a visit to Archie McPhee, the mecca for fun stuff, and a terrific breakfast. I'll save you from the 5th grade food review. We go out to breakfast at least once a week but this one was tops.
We had fun on our ride home with some of the Archie purchases. Lenin takes a ride down I-5 with animals. More photos from the Picasa link on the right.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Cheap Eats
My food cravings come at really weird times and I have a hard time shaking them. Fortunately, two new places in Portland are satisfying some cravings. The best news is that both are cheap.
Pine State Biscuits - I've had cravings for both biscuits and grits. I had read about their booth at the downtown farmer's market but waited until they opened a storefront operation. I had the Reggie - biscuit with fried chicken, mushroom gravy, bacon and cheese. I also had a side of grits. Not only did I satisfy my craving, but I am also showing tremendous restraint by not returning everyday. For the sake of my health, I will only go as a reward for multiple visits to the gym.
Wayne's Red Hots - It must be in my blood but I've also missed Chicago style hot dogs. Last night after looking at a house, BP and I decided to try out this new place. When I walked in, I was thinking that the Cubs paraphernalia was almost too much for my Sox blood but smiled when I saw a guy at the register wearing a Sox hat. Two owners - one a Cubs and the other other a Sox fan. Great hot dog. BP had an Old Style ($2 during a Cubs or Sox game) but I went for the Anchor Porter. It felt like a little bit of home with all of the Chicago stuff.
Now I want to go the place where I can get a Chicago style Italian beef sandwich.
Pine State Biscuits - I've had cravings for both biscuits and grits. I had read about their booth at the downtown farmer's market but waited until they opened a storefront operation. I had the Reggie - biscuit with fried chicken, mushroom gravy, bacon and cheese. I also had a side of grits. Not only did I satisfy my craving, but I am also showing tremendous restraint by not returning everyday. For the sake of my health, I will only go as a reward for multiple visits to the gym.
Wayne's Red Hots - It must be in my blood but I've also missed Chicago style hot dogs. Last night after looking at a house, BP and I decided to try out this new place. When I walked in, I was thinking that the Cubs paraphernalia was almost too much for my Sox blood but smiled when I saw a guy at the register wearing a Sox hat. Two owners - one a Cubs and the other other a Sox fan. Great hot dog. BP had an Old Style ($2 during a Cubs or Sox game) but I went for the Anchor Porter. It felt like a little bit of home with all of the Chicago stuff.
Now I want to go the place where I can get a Chicago style Italian beef sandwich.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
Great plays, great coaching, and lots and lots of stress. I tried all sorts of things to give lots of good energy. You know they won because of my rituals, right? I'm so glad my favorite player, Mario, made that shot. I really hope Self stays at KU.
I feel sick from all of the licorice I ate. But, I started off the game with a Boulevard beer and ended with a Bell's Oberon.
Great game.
I feel sick from all of the licorice I ate. But, I started off the game with a Boulevard beer and ended with a Bell's Oberon.
Great game.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Moses
When I was young, I had a "thing" for Charlton Heston. I really can't explain it other than I thought he was really cool. He was this gruff actor who played Moses. What wasn't there to like? This was pre-NRA and crazy days. I wish I could say that I liked him for marching with MLK, campaigning with Kennedy or speaking out against the Vietnam War. I didn't know about any of his politics. I even named a walking stick after him. You can mark all of this down as stuff you didn't know about me and probably never expected.
1) Charlton Heston fascination and 2) I had a walking stick.
1) Charlton Heston fascination and 2) I had a walking stick.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Final Four
It really helps taking away the nervousness when you are on pain meds.
Go Jayhawks.
Update: what an amazing first half. Holy crap. They did it.
Go Jayhawks.
Update: what an amazing first half. Holy crap. They did it.
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