Panda Bears

Today, I went into Borders and was immediately creeped out by the stuffed panda bears that lined an entire wall. I've mentioned before that I really don't like anything in volume except if I am in a grocery store. Animals, bugs, and stuffed animals are a few of the things that scare me when they are in volume. Don't get me started on dolls.

Panda bears always remind me of three people from my past. During college, I worked at the college bookstore. One of the managers had stuffed panda bears in her office. I still have an aversion to any adult professional who has multiple stuffed animals in his/her office. In addition to her stuffed animal lust, she was also the person I suspected for stealing money during closing. I passed along my theories, but nothing ever happened. I wasn't surprised when she decided to retire at a very early age and not too long after the theft. She probably purchased more stuffed animals and continued her buying trips to Wall Drug.

The worst panda bear offense still holds a record for the most bizarre home decorating I've ever encountered. My upstairs neighbors went on their honeymoon and asked my partner and I to watch their place. We lived in a coach house and had always wondered what the upstairs place looked like after its renovation. I could handle the room that was filled with Star Wars figurines hanging from the wall in their original packaging. What I could not handle was the bedroom filled, and I mean filled, with stuffed panda bears of all shapes and sizes. It left me speechless. We even took some of our friends upstairs so they would understand the horror. Granted, this was the same neighbor who starred in some country act. He listed John Oates as one of his musical heroes. John Oates? What about Daryl Hall? Man, I wish I could remember his name because I would love to see what he is doing now and if he is still married to the panda lover.