Letter E

I probably mentioned in the past how I am watching movies that I've never seen by alphabet. I am relying on multiple lists to generate my list of movies to see --- list of Roger Ebert's favorite movies, Oscar winners, IMDB top movies, AFI's top 100/top 400/top 10 in different categories, top documentaries and so on.  I finally finished watching all of the movies that start with "E".  There are still some movies that I haven't seen in this category because they weren't available from Netflix or I added them after I finished the letter. 

What I loved:
I honestly can't say that I loved any of these movies.  In fact, this was probably the weakest of the letters so far.

What I really liked:
East of Eden - partly because it was the first movie I've ever seen James Dean in.

What I hated:
Enigma of Kaspar Hauser: What in the hell was this?

Others:
Easy Rider: I built this one up too much in my mind.
Ed Wood: Every scene with Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi was absolutely brilliant
Elmer Gantry: Burt Lancaster was plain scary in this role
Enron
Exit through the Gift Shop
Exterminating Angel

So, what had I already seen (people kept asking me this)
E.T.
Empire Strikes Back
English Patient
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Exorcist
Eyes of Tammy Faye

Movies that appeared on the most lists:
E.T.
Easy Rider

Disaster strikes

Please note this day as the day when Oregon lost its advantage to the Midwest for me.  For the first time in 7 1/2 years of living in Eugene and Portland, I saw a centipede.  I have been living in a false state of security thinking that I was in a centipede-free zone.   After a lifetime of centipede induced fear, I developed into a solid warrior.  I could spot a centipede from a great distance.  I could detect them as they tried to camouflage themselves against all surfaces.  Actually, I was not a solid warrior.  I can kill Spiders.  While I prefer to have someone intervene with super large ones, I can still muster the strength to take care of them.  Centipedes are a different story.  I used to have to pay a former roommate $20 for every centipede she had to kill for me.  Chemical warfare. Shoes. Fleeing a living space. Lack of sleep. Standing on a chair for long periods of time.  This is what happens.

Is this what my life is going to become in Portland?  Why isn't the New York Times covering this in their many articles about Portland.  It deserves some headlines.  Did the Spiders bring this on in their war against me?  If so, I applaud them.  They were losing our decades long war after the introduction of my stealth defense, Chuck.   I will raise my white flag to the Spiders so they do not introduce biological warfare by breeding centipedes in Portland.  Did the centipede come in with the mail?  How did it get into my bedroom?

Good news: I have only seen one.  This could be an aberration even though a quick Internet search does say that centipedes live in Oregon (I suspect their living quarters are actually Spider hotels).  Also, because I was in shock, I can't say with 100% certainty that it was a centipede.  It has been five years since I have seen one.

Bad news: Due to shock, I lost the damn thing.

Next step: Training

For me: Eye training exercises

For Chuck: I need to develop a new training on how to kill insects that move faster than the average Spider.  I might need medicine for his attention issues.

Sunday Thoughts

As much as I love basketball, I am completely bored with the NBA.  I read the headlines, see where people are drafted, and keep a minimal eye on the Bulls.  I have never been a huge NBA fan so I guess this isn't a huge surprise.  I just wonder if people who used to follow the sport are also bored with it.

Sad news that the New Orleans Times-Picayune will only publish a newspaper three days a week and lay off a large number of staff. In a city that has 36% of its population without Internet access, I wonder how this is supposed to meet the needs of the community.  It is also distressing since this is a great newspaper that does an excellent job covering city and state government. I know that I am starting to become the odd person out when it comes to reading and subscribing to a newspaper but it is comforting to read reports that others are equally upset with this news.  I admit...I read The Oregonian online.  I used to subscribe but there wasn't a whole lot of content to support. They do a poor job of covering local government.  I would not be as upset if The Oregonian decided to cut back to three days a week. The Portland metro area probably has a higher Internet access rate.  New Orleans?  Different case.

The confession in the Etan Patz case seems anti-climatic. I wonder if it is true or not. I was a few years older than Etan when he disappeared. It was definitely a case that scared me as a kid.

I hope the jury in the John Edwards case finds him guilty.  The Times didn't have to struggle too hard to find pictures of him looking smarmy as he headed into the courtroom each day.   Okay, I actually don't want them to find him guilty if he is really innocent.  He just became so gross but I guess that would make a lot of people guilty these days.

Stories

Around a month ago, Roger Ebert blogged about the stories we leave behind followed by another posting last week around the same theme.  I've been thinking about his posts ever since I read them...comments like this:

Nobody will be able to say how we sounded when we spoke. If they tell our old jokes, they won't know whose they were.
That is what death means. We exist in the minds of other people, in thousands of memory clusters, and one by one those clusters fade and disappear. Some years from now, at a funeral with a slide show, only one person will be able to say who we were. Then no one will know.

When my dad was sick, my parents went through all of our family photos and divided them up between the kids.  My dad wrote each of us the same letter.  His letter talked about how the photos evoke memories of pleasant memories, events, people, and more carefree days. In the letter, he ended with:

Earlier I alluded to the "strangers" in these photographs.  They need to be introduced, however briefly, and time permitting. I will offer such introduction at some future date.

That future date never happened because he died several months later.  Lately, I've been organizing many of my digital photos so I can reliably back them  up.  As I've gone through the photos, I have already started forgetting names and places.  Along with that, I keep thinking about people who have played an important role in my life or in my family and who will know those stories?  If I died tomorrow, would my family members know all of the people I have met in my professional or personal life who have made such a difference?  Do they care?  What happens when my generation passes on?

I need to start recording and organizing these stories so it isn't too late.

Townie

I loved the first chapter of this book.  The author, Andre Dubus III, discusses a run with his father, Andre Dubus, and how he didn't want the experience to end even though he was in significant physical pain. The description of his life after his father divorced his mother could easily read like any other memoir of a kid with divorced parents.  His memoir is different because of the obvious fact that he took up writing just like his father.  I couldn't figure out how the 18-30 year old Dubus was going to end up as a writer because it sounded more like he was going to become a boxer or dead from bar fights.

I will admit that I grew a little tired of reading about the different bar fights, ongoing thoughts of why he was into fighting or building up his strength, and how he felt after some of these fights.  I wondered why this book received so much praise and what was I missing that others found so compelling.  As the book moved into his post-college years, I finally understood the appeal because it reminded me so much of the early chapters.  After finishing the book, I listened to some of his radio interviews because I really wanted to hear what his voice sounded like.  He talked about how he believes anyone can change based partly on his own experiences. There is a large part of me that agrees with this sentiment.  I have this other belief that some of the strongest people I know came from childhood years that were not ideal.  They had many rough patches of doing stupid things but pulled it together and are now some of the most eloquent, compassionate people I know.  I suspect Dubus falls into this camp.  Now I want to read his fiction and some of his father's short stories.

The Marriage Stuff

No, I am not announcing any nuptials.  Since Vice-President Biden made his comments about gay marriage on a Sunday news show, I've been thinking more about the gay marriage debate and politics.

My own feelings towards gay marriage have evolved over time so I can't fault President Obama for working through his feelings.  I still feel strongly that there are basic rights that we still need to achieve in the workplace and the marriage issue moved the focus from these issues that still need attention.   I also believe very strongly that government needs to get out of the marriage business as in who and when should get married.  As President Obama said today, "the word 'marriage' was something that invokes very powerful traditions, religious beliefs and so forth."  Anyone should be able to get a civil union by going to the local government and sign up.  We still have too many things connected with marriage like health care or taxes to do away entirely with civil unions.  If people want to have a religious celebration and follow their beliefs then they can do it in their church.  I really don't care if people want to go marry their cats in a religious ceremony, marry their cousins, or marry for the tenth time.  It isn't important to me unless my main professional organization decides to pass resolutions in support of cat marriage at our annual conferences.

But, my interest in marriage equality and recent current events were stirred up because of two very basic issues for me.  First, I really dislike hypocrisy.  I get so tired of the argument that gays getting married will undermine the role of the family and sanctity of marriage.  There are so many examples of gay couples who have been faithfully together for billions of years while we have plenty of other examples of heterosexual couples who don't really demonstrate a stable family life.  Every side has examples we can use so we just need to get away from all of this hypocrisy and stop that argument right now.

Second, I respect people who stand up for their beliefs even if it isn't the most popular opinion.  While I never liked Ted Olson when he was solicitor general for President Bush or for any of his other public positions, I admire him for standing up for gay marriage and against Proposition 8.  He lost favor with many of his buddies who wondered what the hell happened to him.  I respect other politicians who have come out in favor for gay marriage when it isn't always the best political move, Vice-President Biden as the example on Sunday.

So, I have been watching President Obama and wondering what he would do.  Despite what some groups think, he is not the most progressive person when it comes to gay rights.  I always hoped that his opinion on gay marriage was truly evolving and not just a statement to bring in campaign dollars from the gays.  Last night, I read some commentary that said President Obama wouldn't come out in support of gay marriage because it could cost him votes in critical states like Virginia and North Carolina.  At that moment, I decided to ignore my long-held belief that I wouldn't vote for someone based on one issue by making a pact with myself to not vote for President Obama if he ignored his beliefs just to score some votes.  I would rather he lose the election by standing up for his beliefs.  Of course, I could argue that I really have no idea what goes through his mind and what he truly believes but so what.  Imagine my surprise when I heard the news today about his evolved stance on gay marriage.  I really don't care if this costs him the election.  It was the right thing to do. Do I think he is truly in support of gay marriage?  It is squishy if you read everything he said.  I don't think he is going to make any steps to make it easier for gay people. Did he still make a major step in the right direction?  Definitely.

Memories

As I have often said, I think about my dad every single day.  I miss his presence in so many ways -- what he would think of different current events, books, movies, sports games, and so on.  I miss his sense of humor.  I miss his calm nature.  I definitely miss the possibility of asking his advice on so many different things, which is something I never took advantage of while he was alive.

I have a folder of letters he wrote me while I was in college so I can always return to his comments and insights into different things. I can see his handwriting in those letters or in the margins of the many books I inherited from him.  I can see his image in photographs.  I can see his movements in several videotapes of family events.  I can hear his voice in those videotapes or on a few cassette tapes of his lectures.

The most difficult thing is not hearing his comments on life as it is today.  Second to that is that I can't feel his physical presence through a chuckle, smile, or touch. Third, I can't smell his smell.  For awhile after his death, I could still get a hint of his scent through sweaters that I kept and stored. Those smells are long gone.

Last week, I was walking the dog around the neighborhood.  We encountered a neighbor who has a very friendly dog.  I will usually exchange greetings about the weather or our dogs.  On this day, the leashes became tangled up so we both reached down to separate them.  I was hit with this scent that reminded me so much of my dad that I almost jumped back.  It is so hard to describe a smell.  My dad had a pleasant smell so don't think I miss something disgusting.  It was a warm smell that reminds me of books, pipes (he hadn't smoked a pipe in years), and other things I just can't describe.  It stayed with me the rest of the walk.  Yet, it has conjured up memories that have lasted much longer.  I honestly don't know if I can get close again to this neighbor because I don't want to be disappointed that he isn't my dad but a stranger who just offered a hint of my dad at one random moment.

Disgrace

I have to find at least one redeeming character in a book for me to enjoy the time I spend with them. I can say right now that I don't care how much praise J.M. Coetzee receives as a writer, I will not read another one of his books if he always has such annoying characters. I really wanted to like this book.  There were aspects I appreciated, such as the background of racial relations in post-apartheid South Africa.  What I didn't like was the main character.  I don't think I was supposed to like him but now I don't know.  He tried to do right by his daughter.  There...one thing. Even that doesn't really fit because the character continues to call attention to her unattractiveness.  At least it was a quick read.

Hunger Games

I did it within the last few week.  I read all three books in the Hunger Games Trilogy. I must have lived in a cave when these books came out.  I decided to go ahead and see the movie before reading the books.  I immediately came home and read the first book within a day or so.  I downloaded the next two books and managed to stay up late to finish them.  I guess this is also the time to mention that these are the first books that I've read in electronic format and on my phone.  I can't say that this is a preferred format for me but it worked in this situation because I didn't want to purchase the print since I knew they would be a fast read.  They were cheap and a quick fix when I finished each book and didn't want to wait.   I was reading them at the same time as a friend.  I was frustrated that we couldn't easily share our copies once we finished them.  Reading them on my phone did prevent me from flipping to the back of the book to see what happens.  It was easier for me to resist the temptation.

Oh the books.  I liked them.  It isn't great literature.   They were great entertainment since I didn't want to put them down.  Now I want the second movie to come out right this minute.