Please note this day as the day when Oregon lost its advantage to the Midwest for me. For the first time in 7 1/2 years of living in Eugene and Portland, I saw a centipede. I have been living in a false state of security thinking that I was in a centipede-free zone. After a lifetime of centipede induced fear, I developed into a solid warrior. I could spot a centipede from a great distance. I could detect them as they tried to camouflage themselves against all surfaces. Actually, I was not a solid warrior. I can kill Spiders. While I prefer to have someone intervene with super large ones, I can still muster the strength to take care of them. Centipedes are a different story. I used to have to pay a former roommate $20 for every centipede she had to kill for me. Chemical warfare. Shoes. Fleeing a living space. Lack of sleep. Standing on a chair for long periods of time. This is what happens.
Is this what my life is going to become in Portland? Why isn't the New York Times covering this in their many articles about Portland. It deserves some headlines. Did the Spiders bring this on in their war against me? If so, I applaud them. They were losing our decades long war after the introduction of my stealth defense, Chuck. I will raise my white flag to the Spiders so they do not introduce biological warfare by breeding centipedes in Portland. Did the centipede come in with the mail? How did it get into my bedroom?
Good news: I have only seen one. This could be an aberration even though a quick Internet search does say that centipedes live in Oregon (I suspect their living quarters are actually Spider hotels). Also, because I was in shock, I can't say with 100% certainty that it was a centipede. It has been five years since I have seen one.
Bad news: Due to shock, I lost the damn thing.
Next step: Training
For me: Eye training exercises
For Chuck: I need to develop a new training on how to kill insects that move faster than the average Spider. I might need medicine for his attention issues.
