Memories

As I have often said, I think about my dad every single day.  I miss his presence in so many ways -- what he would think of different current events, books, movies, sports games, and so on.  I miss his sense of humor.  I miss his calm nature.  I definitely miss the possibility of asking his advice on so many different things, which is something I never took advantage of while he was alive.

I have a folder of letters he wrote me while I was in college so I can always return to his comments and insights into different things. I can see his handwriting in those letters or in the margins of the many books I inherited from him.  I can see his image in photographs.  I can see his movements in several videotapes of family events.  I can hear his voice in those videotapes or on a few cassette tapes of his lectures.

The most difficult thing is not hearing his comments on life as it is today.  Second to that is that I can't feel his physical presence through a chuckle, smile, or touch. Third, I can't smell his smell.  For awhile after his death, I could still get a hint of his scent through sweaters that I kept and stored. Those smells are long gone.

Last week, I was walking the dog around the neighborhood.  We encountered a neighbor who has a very friendly dog.  I will usually exchange greetings about the weather or our dogs.  On this day, the leashes became tangled up so we both reached down to separate them.  I was hit with this scent that reminded me so much of my dad that I almost jumped back.  It is so hard to describe a smell.  My dad had a pleasant smell so don't think I miss something disgusting.  It was a warm smell that reminds me of books, pipes (he hadn't smoked a pipe in years), and other things I just can't describe.  It stayed with me the rest of the walk.  Yet, it has conjured up memories that have lasted much longer.  I honestly don't know if I can get close again to this neighbor because I don't want to be disappointed that he isn't my dad but a stranger who just offered a hint of my dad at one random moment.

Disgrace

I have to find at least one redeeming character in a book for me to enjoy the time I spend with them. I can say right now that I don't care how much praise J.M. Coetzee receives as a writer, I will not read another one of his books if he always has such annoying characters. I really wanted to like this book.  There were aspects I appreciated, such as the background of racial relations in post-apartheid South Africa.  What I didn't like was the main character.  I don't think I was supposed to like him but now I don't know.  He tried to do right by his daughter.  There...one thing. Even that doesn't really fit because the character continues to call attention to her unattractiveness.  At least it was a quick read.

Hunger Games

I did it within the last few week.  I read all three books in the Hunger Games Trilogy. I must have lived in a cave when these books came out.  I decided to go ahead and see the movie before reading the books.  I immediately came home and read the first book within a day or so.  I downloaded the next two books and managed to stay up late to finish them.  I guess this is also the time to mention that these are the first books that I've read in electronic format and on my phone.  I can't say that this is a preferred format for me but it worked in this situation because I didn't want to purchase the print since I knew they would be a fast read.  They were cheap and a quick fix when I finished each book and didn't want to wait.   I was reading them at the same time as a friend.  I was frustrated that we couldn't easily share our copies once we finished them.  Reading them on my phone did prevent me from flipping to the back of the book to see what happens.  It was easier for me to resist the temptation.

Oh the books.  I liked them.  It isn't great literature.   They were great entertainment since I didn't want to put them down.  Now I want the second movie to come out right this minute.