I am following up the heavy post with something that proves my insanity.
Updates from Spider Headquarters
Despite the losses incurred the other day, Spider Spokesperson, Tony Orb Spider, reported new measures to lift up the spirits of Portland Spiders. Special Assignment "Go for the Children" is in motion. Agent #919 had entered Apartment 314 with our two brave comrades last Sunday afternoon for a different mission. This Agent burrowed in the luggage of Primary Target's family members. The Agent has now made it safely to the Land of Lincoln, the symbolic name for some former human president. This Agent will track the Primary Target's family to detect any familial patterns that could benefit our cause. In addition, this Agent is prepared to take any children hostage, and is also poised to have photographic evidence sent to Headquarters that will show the Agent hovering over their sleeping bodies.
In other news, tent camps have been set up in a neighboring lawn while Spider Headquarters are quickly repaired. Special Forces have moved across the street to further prevent the Primary Target and Canine from walking down 41st Battlefield. All paths on this critical battlefield need to remain in Spider webs.
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