End of Summer

It is a slight understatement to say that I am ready for the end of summer.  It isn't because I hate the warmer weather or the sunshine.  For me, the change in seasons will symbolize the end of a rough patch.  I already feel slightly better knowing that Autumn is on its way. Within the last few days, I have started turning a corner.  I was able to read a book for the first time since early June. I caught up on the daily newspapers and started tackling the Sunday NY Times that have been building up since last March.  I feel a little more energized to tackle some work projects.  It also helps that I get to see family and friends later this week. 

The obvious thing that happened this summer is Elston dying.  I went through most of July just avoiding my grief by focusing on other things or trying to stay out of the apartment as much as possible.  It caught up to me in early August and has been more center stage ever since.  It feels much healthier acknowledging the grief when it comes on rather than repressing it.  The other major thing is the health of someone very close to me. My worry comes on waves but I am trying to remain as hopeful as possible.  Financial stress is a major one right now. I've always told myself that financial worries can always be worked out.  It is the other stuff that deserves more attention.  There are always solutions to financial problems and that is the case here.  I need to figure them out but it isn't life or death. Health.  What else is new? I can even go back as far as late April when I started losing sense of things.  I'm working through some of those issues and realizing that I am okay. Part of losing my sense of self revolved around a crush that has gone on too long.  I am dodging the bullet on that one. 

It hasn't been all bad.  I've spent more time with my Portland friends who seem like family to me. I am surrounded by a group of very supportive, fun people. Work has turned around with a new person around who makes me feel like I am no longer alone.  My word for the next few months is hope.