From the dog

I have hijacked the blog from the human. I am happy there is a thing called spell check because I am still learning this spelling and typing thing.

I hear we are moving again. I am not stupid. First, we move to Oregon. Then we move to this place called New Jersey. I haven't been too impressed. Sure, I've made some friends and stuff. But, I have never liked the lack of green space. I have also had to deal with a lot of shih-tzus. I think they are the ghosts of my humans childhood dogs who have come back to mock me. I won't be sad to see them go. I saw the boxes come back out. I'm not stupid. I've heard them talk about Oregon again. Would the human please make up her mind?

So, today I had to go to the dreaded place. No, not the kennel. I had to go to the place with the humans in white coats. I have a little eye gook so the human freaked out and dragged me there. Now she comes at me with this white stuff and practically rips at my eyeball. Yes, I am prone to exaggeration but it worries me.

My main concern is that the human in the white coat busted me. See, the humans don't like it when I lick my paws. The one human (main human in my life) really doesn't like it. She has been sleeping a lot, so I have been waking her up in the night by licking my paws. She gives me that "look" so I stop. She falls back asleep and I lick again. Another look. I decided to make it more fun by licking the air. The humans were talking about it this morning. Well, the human in the white coat used the word "behavioral" so now they are a little less concerned. I heard her say something about relaxation methods. What is that going to involve? Am I going to have listen to special tapes? Get rid of the shih-tzus and boxes and I'll show you relaxation.

The other thing I heard the white coat human say was "sedative." Huh? Apparently, the human didn't think the drugs from the other moves really worked. They are going to try a stronger drug. What really confused me was the human said the other human (who gives me more treats, carrots, and longer walks) wouldn't be going with us. Okay. She didn't say those exact words. She said it would just be the two of us in the car. Why didn't she say the three of us? I sense something is wrong. But, now I am supposed to be relaxing and will be drugged up. I can barely see with this eye medicine but I see more and more boxes. I think I will just take a "nap" and hatch more plots. I should start licking the boxes. That would really freak them out.

Send ideas.
E, the dog.