Not Sure

I just finished this really good book of stories, "Olive Kitteridge" by Elizabeth Strout. Most of the stories involve or have some loose connection to the character, Olive. The book takes place in the later years of Olive's life as she faces changes with her family and the loss of friends. I guess it was fitting that I found out another family friend died yesterday.

I don't think it really hit me until today when I started thinking of Bob and some of my memories of him. The first time I really remember Bob is when I was a little kid and we went into Chicago for the weekend to stay with Bob and his wife, Louise. We took the train to Chicago which was really cool. My dad was stressed because DePaul was in the Final Four and he was missing the game. They had this apartment in a high rise building on Lake Shore Drive. It felt like another world. I had never been anywhere quite like their apartment and I just felt so clumsy and awkward.

Fast forward many years later when I moved to Chicago to attend DePaul. My parents rented an apartment in the city, so I moved in with them. They would come in every weekend and part of their routine was dinner with Bob and Louise on Saturday nights. There would sometimes be a Sunday brunch. I would join them every now and then, especially when I first moved to the city. I think my parents felt sorry for me and invited me along. My first time joining them was at an Italian restaurant on Taylor Street. The basketball coach, Jerry Tarkanian, was in the dining room. I nudged my dad. I thought, "this is really cool - a great restaurant, a famous basketball coach - I think I will like Chicago." I was introduced to many great restaurants through their friendship with Bob and Louise - The Breakfast Club is at the top of the list.

I would sometimes run into Bob walking on Michigan Avenue. It wasn't hard to miss him because he was a very tall man. Really tall man. Or, I would run into Bob and Louise at Salt & Pepper diner when I was on a break from class and grabbing a quick lunch or breakfast with a friend. Who can forget when Bob and Louise caught me making out with a girl and that led to a flurry of quickly coming out talks with my family.

As I get older, I know that I will lose more of these people who have touched me in one way or another. I will lose more people who were a connection to my dad. The book I just finished followed those same themes of growing older, loss and death.

I'm really not trying to be preachy or super squishy and sentimental. I'm just acknowledging the passage of time and how all of these memories are so important to me. The last time I saw Bob was my going away party when I was moving from Chicago to Eugene. It seems like yesterday. I can remember it perfectly - he was talking to my brother-in-law and not paying attention at all to his martini. It kept sloshing around. He was just so engaged in the conversation that he really didn't notice. He was chuckling at something John said. I am specifically using the word chuckle because that was really his laugh.

We lost a good man yesterday.