Quotes

"People who shop in Whole Foods are just too serious. It makes me tense."

- Neighboring diner in Charleston

"Why does it smell like one big Christmas wreath outside?"

- Elston. Okay, not really. It was me saying it to Elston who doesn't understand English and was busy sniffing leaves.

Conversation about centipedes (more or less what was said)
Erin: I killed a centipede today in the apartment
E: What?
Erin: Yea, a centipede on the bedroom wall
E: They don't have centipedes in Oregon!!!

Followed by:
E: Erin said she killed a centipede in our apartment building. In her bedroom.
Mary: Uh huh
E: Don't you understand?? I've never seen a 'pede in Oregon before. I thought I was safe.
Mary: Uh huh
E: Spiders are one thing but centipedes are satan's army.
Mary: Please tell Erin not to tell you anymore about 'pedes in the building.
E: Did you hide information from me in NJ? Did you?
Mary: No.

I *so* don't believe her. You thought I was bad about Spiders but they have nothing on 'pedes. Ask anyone who has known me for a long time and they will quickly nod in agreement. I would welcome armies of Spiders in my apartment before I see one 'pede enter the threshold.