Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Bulletin intercepted

I will let their "electronic bulletin" explain everything:

Two unsuccessful spying missions


First was the death of Agent 33445 on Sunday evening and now there are reports that Agent 00999 also met its untimely death on Tuesday morning at 6:05 a.m. While the deaths are a loss to the spy forces, Head W Spider said defenses continue to be weak in Apartment #314.

On Sunday evening, Agent 33445 was able to enter the apartment without any alarms being set off by the canine. During the mission, the Agent was able to place tracking devices and draw more detailed maps of the enemy territory. Primary Target #1 spotted the Agent and alarmed other Human visitors to its presence. They failed on the first attempt of its life as Spider training taught the Agent how to avoid the "Defense by Long Objects" method. As the Agent reported an hour later, it had been rediscovered by Primary Target who again asked for back-up from the other humans. The Agent's last known communication to headquarters was that a very tall human was approaching it with a paper towel. This event happened on the Northwest battlefield.

A few minutes ago, Agent 00999 met its death by the hand of Primary Target. This Agent was able to successfully monitor events from the battlefield of running water. Canine was again noted as a weak defense because canine was in the room at the same time as Primary Target was immersed in water. 10 minutes later, the Agent was discovered and quickly murdered. Trainers of Agent Academy responded, "We still need to train our Agents more effectively in the quick reflexes of humans." It was also noted that this Agent had been more intrigued by looking at its reflection in the mirror surface, which further disoriented it as it made its way across the wall. Mirrors will now be used in battlefield training. Canine had left the room by the time of the Agent's death.

A rattled Primary Target was seen leaving battlefield.

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