Dreams

I honestly can't remember if I have talked about the dreams I have with my father playing a major role. He usually appears and there is no mention that he died 10 years ago. There is usually an acknowledgment that he has been away for many years and that is usually health related. I have been having these dreams for many years and I usually have them every few months. I remember most of them and they stay with me for quite awhile. I usually wake up in a funk because it just makes me miss him even more. I had one shortly before I moved that was really upsetting because it made me think I was going to die.

I had one last night. He was back and had gone to the college to take care of some paperwork. I was back in our old house on Plum Street. I walked down the stairs and I could smell him. I used to love my dad's smell and it was back in the house. I walked around the living room and kitchen in a daze. I kept thinking, "wow...he is back." There was a stack of papers on the counter by our phone so I started shuffling through them. They all involved his return to the college. There was a form indicating he was registered for a conference in 2008. A bill for a hotel room. Documents from the public library dealing with board responsibilities. Some of the papers had his handwriting where he had written himself notes. I started crying out of relief.

I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I have an idea that I dreamt about him last night because he was in my thoughts most of yesterday. I had gone hiking with K&E and the entire time, I kept thinking that my dad would have loved the hike. My favorite childhood memories of my dad are going on hikes with him. He would point out flowers, we would talk about animals, and make up stories that we were on a grand adventure. I just felt his presence yesterday, so I imagine that is why I dreamt about him last night.